5.30.2006
Got Windows?
The prospect of my office's upcoming move from the charming Victorian house we are currently located in to the renovated administration offices in an old manufacturing building offers little excitement for this part-time working girl. But this afternoon, the relocation fell from blase to blagh on my scale of concern when I was told, "full-time employees will have windows." At first this statement seemed to make sense. I interpreted it to mean "don't worry, the offices aren't that bad... small, but nice." Then it clicked. Full-time?
You see, I have otherwise "scored" when it comes to employment. Part-time here, a contract there, and I am bringing in full-time money with 3-day weekends.
But it was made evident that my lux life does not qualify me for what I consider a inalienable right - a window to the outside world.
The more I think about it, the worse it gets. After all, the other rooms without windows include:
jail - the obvious,
then there are bank vaults, but you can't come and go as you please,
Sadam recommends spider holes,
and the Japanse suggest this "comfortable" home-away-from-home... but, alas, no women allowed.
Windows anyone?
Erin
5.18.2006
Suburban Clear Cutting
Lately, I've noticed an alarming trend among our neighbors. Yard by yard, they are cutting down their trees. Each time I hear the familiar buzz of machinery, I look out my window hoping that a neighbor is doing something exciting like installing an in-ground pool. But each time I am disappointed, usually seeing the top of a leafy tree shaking in the distance and then falling to the ground. Just another chainsaw.
So, if you like to dig holes, stop by 331 tomorrow because I'm going to be planting some more trees around the back yard... the "green wall" as I like to think of it.
Every day should be arbor day!
E Bishop
5.14.2006
Madrid Graffiti
I few minutes after I saw World Cup results were posted to the UCI website, I got a call from my globe-trotting sweetie to share the news first hand.
Jeremiah placed 55th, I knew, and congratulated him but was quickly interrupted with a story of unprecedented course cutting. It turns out that no less than 100 of the 250-rider field jumped off their bikes and ran straight up a hill, instead of riding the switchbacked maze marked by course tape, and saving themselves two or three minutes in the process.
"Where were the UCI officials," I asked.
"They were right there, trying to keep the course markings in place while rider after rider tried to tear through them," Jeremiah explained. "Wells and I got punked."
"Why didn't they start tearing off number plates and disqualifying people left and right?!"
"Our number plates are zipped tied on."
My furious brain frantically searched for an answer to the UCI's problem of blatant course cutting only made worse by the mob mentality of a way-too-full-field of semi-pros and euro-scrubs. One official can't be responsible for returning order to a lawless situation, but to suggest that he can't enforce the rules is irresponsible. Officials love few things. They include power, uniforms and, when necessary, weapons.
I surveyed my immediate thoughts, 'Qualifying heats? Peer-pressure? Barbed-wire? Tazars? '
AH HA! "Spray paint," I yelled!
Each course official should get a full can of day-glow spray paint. When a pack of riders decides to take a shortcut more substantial than a ninja line. The official merely blasts them with some paint and lets them keep riding. Then, when the riders cross the finish line, they will be tallied below the DNF list in the newly introduced GRAFFITI classification. And, after their ride of shame past fans and other racers, they might not feel so proud.
But then again, euro-scrubs love day-glow.
Always thinking,
E Bishop
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